Sometimes Mike says I suffer from 'Now-itis'. As in, I want things NOW.
I want to lose 40lbs NOW.
I want to run a sub-2 hr half marathon NOW.
Start taking more photographs.
Make my own stationary.
Finish that shawl.
Make another quilt.
Eat a clean diet.
Track every calorie that goes in my face.
Resist marshmallow-creme Russell Stover eggs.
Last week I realized I can't have it all right NOW. I need to make priorities for my life and BE OKAY WITH THEM. No guilt tripping myself, no denying myself what I need in order to make another goal work.
So, that said, here's what I've been battling with.
Running & Losing weight. Running was the main exercise I used to get me active when losing the first 50lbs. Now that I'm 7 weeks into HM training, it's becoming more and more difficult to balance my caloric intake, fuel for long runs, and try to aggressively lose weight.
Due to my cube-farm job, I burn very few calories on my rest days. Even if I take the dog out for a walk after work, I burn just over 2000 calories/day. This means I'm eating 1100-1200 calories on these days, which is hard enough. But what comes after rest days?
My runs the last 3 weeks or so have been 'meh' at best. I always seem to hit a point of the run where I run out of 'go'. Yeah, I eat before I run, but you can't go inhale a few breakfast before you run, you know?
Where do I draw this balance line? I decided that for right now, I need happiness in my life. A release. That release is running. Training for something that I never thought possible. Training for something that pushes my mind & body. Yes, I'd like to get faster and with that comes losing weight, but that's down the road.
Today? Here? Right now? Get through 13.1 miles without collapsing or puking or wanting to die the next day. I want to meet my goal of 2:34 half. Get through it well enough that I can do the Mud Run w/ Kerrie and Jill two weeks later, and the See Jane Run half two weeks after that.
I'll continue to track calories, but it won't be the be-all end-all of my day. If we're going out for happy hour or to celebrate something, I'll have a drink or two. I'll skip most of the fries and order grilled, healthier options. The weight will come off eventually.
I can do this. I can do it in a smart way.