If you're my friend on Twitter, you probably saw this on Sunday AM:
Yeah. I knew I had to get out the door for Long Run, but just wasn't feeling it. I even emailed Mel (who happened to be online) and tried to get her support into my head. Spoiler: It didn't work so well.
Some of the reasons I likely wasn't mentally in?
- Too long since my last run. I took Thursday as a rest day, and should have done my 3 miles on Friday. Instead, I had a work function and drunk texted this to Kerrie around 10pm. 3miles NOT done.
- When I woke up at 8:30am Saturday, I beat myself up. I had already planned to be out on the sidewalks by that point. When I woke up again at 10:30, I yelled at myself - I should be done by now, for God's sake. The internal monologue of guilt-tripping continued for the rest of the day. I could have gone out to make up the 3 miles, but that didn't happen. I'm not even sure why.
- I was also upset that I was hungover and thus couldn't run effectively but DAMNIT why can't I go enjoy a few beers with new friends at a neighborhood joint? I LOVE this training plan, but felt SO trapped.
- The route I chose was a giant loop around Seattle. It was really intimidating to me - that's a long-ass ways. My halfway point would be my turnaround point for my 3m route at work. I could basically run to work and back. ARE you kidding me.
I set out around 9am Sunday morning. The sun was shining, my legs were fresh (if not tight from not being used in 3 days). I knew the route. I had my iPod, my cell phone, and my handheld with Tri-Berry Nuun. I was fighting myself & my head so hard that sometimes I couldn't remember when I had last started running. Or how long I had been walking for. Nuts.
|Text: Halfway. Hot out. I smell|
Sometime after mile 7 I stopped in some shade next to a railyard and squat down. I was DONE. It was hot. I was angry & almost in tears. I know I'm strong and can do this, I sure as hell wasn't going to call Mike to come get me, so just GET IT OVER WITH. But no. Kept berating myself for being stupid. Mel texted, I managed to reply.
I had called Mike when I had a bit over a mile left for him to get my cold-water bath going.
I almost cried at the sound of his voice.
GPS said 10.3 when I passed the house, so I ran a bit past to make it 10.5.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I had salt (or something) caked around the corners of my lips. My hair had exploded from my visor. I had a tan line from my GPS, shorts, and sleeves. I looked about as rough as I felt.
The bath felt delicious. We were out of chocolate milk so I had a throwback Mountain Dew.
It was over. I did it.
SO what did we learn today? Enjoy the run. If you're resenting it, do something else. Don't sulk. Don't stress. Don't fret. ENJOY the run.