Monday, May 2, 2011

The run where my legs showed up

... but my mind didn't.

If you're my friend on Twitter, you probably saw this on Sunday AM:

Yeah.  I knew I had to get out the door for Long Run, but just wasn't feeling it.  I even emailed Mel (who happened to be online) and tried to get her support into my head.  Spoiler: It didn't work so well.

Some of the reasons I likely wasn't mentally in?

  • Too long since my last run.  I took Thursday as a rest day, and should have done my 3 miles on Friday.  Instead, I had a work function and drunk texted this to Kerrie around 10pm.  3miles NOT done.

  • When I woke up at 8:30am Saturday, I beat myself up.  I had already planned to be out on the sidewalks by that point.  When I woke up again at 10:30, I yelled at myself - I should be done by now, for God's sake.  The internal monologue of guilt-tripping continued for the rest of the day.  I could have gone out to make up the 3 miles, but that didn't happen.  I'm not even sure why.  

  • I was also upset that I was hungover and thus couldn't run effectively but DAMNIT why can't I go enjoy a few beers with new friends at a neighborhood joint?  I LOVE this training plan, but felt SO trapped.

  • The route I chose was a giant loop around Seattle.  It was really intimidating to me - that's a long-ass ways.  My halfway point would be my turnaround point for my 3m route at work.  I could basically run to work and back.  ARE you kidding me.  

I set out around 9am Sunday morning.  The sun was shining, my legs were fresh (if not tight from not being used in 3 days).  I knew the route.  I had my iPod, my cell phone, and my handheld with Tri-Berry Nuun.  I was fighting myself & my head so hard that sometimes I couldn't remember when I had last started running.  Or how long I had been walking for.  Nuts.

Text: Halfway.  Hot out.  I smell

Sometime after mile 7 I stopped in some shade next to a railyard and squat down.  I was DONE.  It was hot.  I was angry & almost in tears.  I know I'm strong and can do this, I sure as hell wasn't going to call Mike to come get me, so just GET IT OVER WITH.  But no.  Kept berating myself for being stupid.  Mel texted, I managed to reply.

 I had called Mike when I had a bit over a mile left for him to get my cold-water bath going.

I almost cried at the sound of his voice.  

GPS said 10.3 when I passed the house, so I ran a bit past to make it 10.5.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.  I had salt (or something) caked around the corners of my lips. My hair had exploded from my visor.  I had a tan line from my GPS, shorts, and sleeves.   I looked about as rough as I felt.

The bath felt delicious.  We were out of chocolate milk so I had a throwback Mountain Dew.

It was over.  I did it.

SO what did we learn today?  Enjoy the run.  If you're resenting it, do something else.  Don't sulk.  Don't  stress.  Don't fret.  ENJOY the run.


  1. Congrats on finishing, but that sounds awful! Burn out sucks so bad.

  2. That's hardcore. 2 months from the race and already at 10 miles? Might as well do the full at the rate you're going! Great job!

  3. Sorry your run sucked! Thanks for welcoming me back so openly. Wish I lived closer so I could run with you some day! Way to suck it up and finish.

  4. Those are the hardest runs but YOU DID IT!! You do realize you are AWESOME for running 10.5 miles, right?