The run where my legs showed up

... but my mind didn't.

If you're my friend on Twitter, you probably saw this on Sunday AM:

Yeah.  I knew I had to get out the door for Long Run, but just wasn't feeling it.  I even emailed Mel (who happened to be online) and tried to get her support into my head.  Spoiler: It didn't work so well.

Some of the reasons I likely wasn't mentally in?

• Too long since my last run.  I took Thursday as a rest day, and should have done my 3 miles on Friday.  Instead, I had a work function and drunk texted this to Kerrie around 10pm.  3miles NOT done.

• When I woke up at 8:30am Saturday, I beat myself up.  I had already planned to be out on the sidewalks by that point.  When I woke up again at 10:30, I yelled at myself - I should be done by now, for God's sake.  The internal monologue of guilt-tripping continued for the rest of the day.  I could have gone out to make up the 3 miles, but that didn't happen.  I'm not even sure why.  

• I was also upset that I was hungover and thus couldn't run effectively but DAMNIT why can't I go enjoy a few beers with new friends at a neighborhood joint?  I LOVE this training plan, but felt SO trapped.

• The route I chose was a giant loop around Seattle.  It was really intimidating to me - that's a long-ass ways.  My halfway point would be my turnaround point for my 3m route at work.  I could basically run to work and back.  ARE you kidding me.  

I set out around 9am Sunday morning.  The sun was shining, my legs were fresh (if not tight from not being used in 3 days).  I knew the route.  I had my iPod, my cell phone, and my handheld with Tri-Berry Nuun.  I was fighting myself & my head so hard that sometimes I couldn't remember when I had last started running.  Or how long I had been walking for.  Nuts.

Text: Halfway.  Hot out.  I smell

Sometime after mile 7 I stopped in some shade next to a railyard and squat down.  I was DONE.  It was hot.  I was angry & almost in tears.  I know I'm strong and can do this, I sure as hell wasn't going to call Mike to come get me, so just GET IT OVER WITH.  But no.  Kept berating myself for being stupid.  Mel texted, I managed to reply.

 I had called Mike when I had a bit over a mile left for him to get my cold-water bath going.

I almost cried at the sound of his voice.  

GPS said 10.3 when I passed the house, so I ran a bit past to make it 10.5.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.  I had salt (or something) caked around the corners of my lips. My hair had exploded from my visor.  I had a tan line from my GPS, shorts, and sleeves.   I looked about as rough as I felt.

The bath felt delicious.  We were out of chocolate milk so I had a throwback Mountain Dew.

It was over.  I did it.

SO what did we learn today?  Enjoy the run.  If you're resenting it, do something else.  Don't sulk.  Don't  stress.  Don't fret.  ENJOY the run.